Supporting men’s mental health through a serious illness

Published November 2025 | 5 min read
Expert contributors: Tony Johanssen, psychotherapist and behaviour change expert; Lilanie Dagg, social worker, Lung Foundation Australia
Words by Sabrina Rogers-Anderson

A serious diagnosis can take a toll on men’s mental health. Discover expert advice on how to give the right support.

When a man in your life is diagnosed with a serious illness, it can be difficult to know how to talk to them about it. But with our ageing population contributing to high rates of chronic disease – and men experiencing a greater share of ill health than women – they need more support than ever.

The leading causes of illness and death among Australian males include cancer (19%), cardiovascular disease (14%) and mental health conditions/substance use disorders (11%).

More than 90,000 new cases of cancer are diagnosed in men each year, with prostate cancer the most common cancer in men, followed by melanoma of the skin, colorectal cancer and lung cancer.

While it’s easy to assume physical and mental health are separate issues, they’re deeply intertwined. Being diagnosed with a serious illness can have a negative impact on mental wellbeing. The good news is that early intervention and the right type of support can help improve men’s mental health when they’re diagnosed with cancer or another serious health condition.

The impact of a serious health diagnosis on men’s mental health

An Australian study published in 2024 found there was a clear increase in the use of mental health medications and services in men who were diagnosed with prostate cancer. But the impact of physical illness on mental health certainly isn’t limited to cancer, says Lung Foundation Australia social worker, Lilanie Dagg.

“There’s a very strong link between getting diagnosed with a serious illness and depression and anxiety,” she explains. “I speak to people with lung diseases like COPD [chronic obstructive pulmonary disease], silicosis and lung cancer, as well as their families, so I hear firsthand how illness impacts both emotional and practical wellbeing.

“Navigating a diagnosis can bring on feelings of fear, loss of control and uncertainty about the future, and the person may feel a loss of identity. In the case of lung disease, symptoms like breathlessness can also trigger anxiety or panic.”

While times are slowly changing, the ongoing stigma around mental health and vulnerability in men can prevent many of them from opening up about their struggles and seeking help.

Tony Johannsen is a behaviour change facilitator and psychotherapist who helps people understand the thoughts, feelings and behaviours that negatively impact their lives. "Socially, there can be a pressure not to be a whinger or the ‘wet blanket’ in the group," he says. “And from a familial standpoint, men still fundamentally orientate themselves as the provider and often believe their value is directly equated to what they can produce. So, losing that can be a big hit to their confidence.”

The best way to protect men’s mental health following a diagnosis is to address it early and openly, says Lilanie.

“I encourage men to speak to their GPs about a mental health treatment plan, and I connect them with counselling and peer support groups,” she says. “I also suggest they ask their families to be involved in their care if possible. Knowing they’re not facing their diagnosis alone can reduce their mental health burden.”

While there are many sources of support available to men facing a serious health issue (including HCF’s mental health services like a free annual mental wellbeing check-in with a psychologist^* and online treatment programs through THIS WAY UP^{^}), Tony says it’s up to the individual to choose what they feel most comfortable with.

“For some people, finding peers that are having similar experiences is comforting,” he explains. “But others want life to remain as normal as possible, and they prefer to lean on their traditional friendship group. There’s an onus on the people in the diagnosed person’s life to continue to include and involve them.”

How to support someone with cancer or another serious illness

Research shows good family and social support can significantly improve physical and mental health in people with chronic diseases. But what does good support look like?

“People’s support networks shouldn’t be grandiose,” says Tony. “It’s not your job to fix it. There’s a medical team in place for that, so your job is to make the person feel valued, supported, loved and helped.”

There are two main ways to support someone going through a life-changing illness: practically and emotionally.

Practical support for men

“Support often works best when it’s practical and non-intrusive,” says Lilanie. “When I speak to carers of men who’ve been diagnosed, I suggest things like driving them to appointments, helping organise medication or just being present without pressure. It’s important to not be overbearing or make decisions for the person, because that can take away their sense of control.”

Being decisive about the type of support you’re going to offer rather than simply saying “let me know how I can help” can make it easier for the diagnosed person to accept your assistance, adds Tony.

“Say something like, ‘I have next Friday off, do you want me to take you to chemo?’” he says. “Phrase it in a way that will make it easy for them to say yes.”

Watch psychotherapist Tony Johannsen discuss strategies to manage anxiety. 

Emotional support for men

Socialising with the person in a way that’s appropriate for them is often more helpful than insisting they tell you how they’re feeling, says Tony.

“Walking, laughing and socialising in general are correlated with positive health outcomes, so all these activities can be helpful,” he explains. “Leave enough gaps in the conversation for the person to be able to talk about how they’re feeling if they choose to. You can remind them you’re open to talking about anything, but don’t insist they discuss their diagnosis.”

Lilanie agrees meeting the person where they’re at is crucial. “Sometimes, it’s better to just sit with them or watch a game together,” she says. “You can also ask simple questions like, ‘How’s today feeling?’ or ‘Where are you at today?’. That opens the door to conversation without forcing it. If the person has a supportive group of male friends, they may find it easier to talk with them than family members, and it’s important to respect that.”

While comments like 'stay positive' or 'everything happens for a reason' may be well meaning, they can often do more harm than good.

“They can make people feel dismissed or guilty for struggling,” says Lilanie. “Listening, validating what they’re going through and acknowledging it’s tough are much more supportive than trying to put a positive spin on a very difficult and complex diagnosis.”

Where to find men’s mental health support

If you need support for yourself or a loved one going through a serious illness, the following support services are available. In emergencies, always call 000.

• MensLine Australia (1300 78 99 78): free phone and online counselling for Australian men.
• Lifeline (13 11 14): 24-hour crisis support and suicide prevention.
• Beyond Blue (1300 22 46 36): mental health information, support and free counselling.
• Cancer Council (13 11 20): free confidential information and support for people affected by cancer.
• Lung Foundation Australia (1800 654 301): information and support for people living with lung disease and lung cancer.
• Heart Foundation (13 11 12): information and support for heart disease.

Book your free annual mental health check-in today

Whether you want to support a loved one who’s experiencing a serious health issue, or you’re looking to care for your own mental health, help is available. Eligible members can get a free annual HealthyMinds Check-in: a telehealth consultation with a psychologist, who’ll discuss your concerns and connect you with the appropriate support tailored to your needs. Appointments are available up to 21 hours a day^*.