Self-care strategies for dementia carers

Published September 2025 | 5 min read
Expert contributor: Annabel Reid, CEO, Carers Australia
Words by Sabrina Rogers-Anderson

Being a carer for someone with dementia can cause physical, emotional and financial strain. Here’s how to get the support you need.

When Ali’s mother was diagnosed with dementia at the age of 76, it came as a shock to the whole family.

“She started to decline very quickly, and her doctor explained that she’d probably been hiding her symptoms for quite some time,” says Ali.

“I took long-service leave and went to Sydney to help my sister, who’d been looking after Mum as well as her severely disabled son, and it had all become too much. I was there for nine weeks, and Mum declined so quickly that we had to put her in a home within that time.”

Ali threw herself into learning about dementia so she could support her mother. “She was very confused and would think the apocalypse was happening or that she was booking a holiday,” she says. “I learnt about compassionate deception, which is basically going along with what the person with dementia is saying rather than confronting them and making them more anxious.

“By the end, she’d get very distressed when I went to visit her. We lost her last year, and it was sad to see her life end like that because she’d always been such a funny, generous and loving person. She was my rock.”

Nearly 1.6 million Australians are involved in caring for someone living with dementia. While many carers find their role satisfying, they’re more than three times more likely to report high levels of loneliness compared to the average Australian. They’re also almost three times more likely to be poor or very poor due to the financial pressures of being a carer.

Learn how carers can navigate the practical, emotional, social and financial demands of looking after someone with dementia.

Dementia stages and how care needs change

Dementia is an umbrella term for various diseases that affect memory, cognitive abilities and behaviour. While there are several different types of dementia and everyone experiences it differently, it’s a progressive condition that gets worse over time.

“Caring for someone with dementia is challenging because their needs constantly change,” says Annabel Reid, CEO at Carers Australia. “You might develop a routine that works for a dementia patient for a few months, but then something changes overnight. Suddenly, that routine doesn’t work anymore and you have greater responsibility of care.”

There are three broad dementia stages:

• Early-stage dementia: During early-stage or mild dementia, changes in thinking and memory start to appear. It can be subtle at first, like mixing up words and losing things. Many people aren’t yet diagnosed at this stage and most can still care for themselves.
• Middle-stage dementia: Also known as moderate dementia, this stage is characterised by more obvious changes in memory, thinking, mood and behaviour. The person may have trouble recognising loved ones, struggle to bathe or get dressed, and be confused, distressed or aggressive. They’re likely to require support from a carer.
• Late-stage dementia: In late-stage or severe dementia, symptoms are severe, and the person may struggle to remember people or places, form new memories, communicate or even walk. Constant care and supervision are likely needed.

4 ways dementia carers can look after their wellbeing

“As the person’s care needs increase over time, you might start to feel burnt out and be forced to make some difficult decisions,” says Annabel. “Can you continue working? Do you have to consider part-time? Is it time for your loved one to be placed in an aged care home? There’s a very high mental, emotional and financial load that goes with caring.”

Here are four ways carers can help reduce this load.

1. Recognise you’re a carer

“Most carers don’t even realise they’re carers,” says Annabel. “They think of themselves as a son, daughter or partner, but they often don’t apply the label of carer to themselves.

“If you do tasks such as feeding, showering, helping around the house, administrative tasks and emotional support, then you’re a carer. Recognising yourself as such will enable you to access support and services.”

There are many resources available to carers, from financial support (including the Australian Government’s Carer Payment and Carer Allowance) to free services like online courses, counselling, peer support groups and respite care.

2. Build a support network

“If I tell a carer to practise self-care, they’re likely to ask, ‘How can I possibly do that?’” says Annabel. “You need to proactively build your support network and think ahead about your financial circumstances. You can’t wait until you hit burnout to seek help.”

Whether you enlist a friend to do your grocery shopping or ask a family member to pop over for an hour so you can go for a walk, every bit of help counts.

“Maybe your workplace will allow you to work from home some days,” Annabel adds. “It’s all about finding little tweaks to buy yourself time.”

HCF offers a wide range of services to eligible members that can help support your wellbeing, including a free annual HealthyMinds Check-in^* with a psychologist, a free 12-month subscription to the Sleepfit app^{^} to help you get a good night’s sleep, and access to the CSIRO Total Wellbeing Diet⁺ to help you look after your nutrition.

3. Consider respite services

Respite care is when someone else takes care of your loved one so you can have a break. Both planned and emergency respite services are available in the home, in centres and in aged care facilities.

“Carers often feel a lot of guilt about using respite services, but if you break down, then the person you care for can also suffer,” says Annabel. “Respite services often have a long waitlist, and you may not get the help you need if you leave it to the last minute, so book ahead.”

4. Use technology to ease your load

In the early and middle stages of dementia, you may be able to use technology like alarms, sensors and AI assistants to remind the person you care for to perform basic tasks like drinking water, taking medication and going to the toilet. This can allow you to have short breaks from your caring duties.

“While digital innovation is exciting and shows promise for dementia carers, these tools won’t be as helpful for people in remote areas,” says Annabel. “Our data shows 17% of carers in Australia don’t have access to high-speed internet and 15% don’t even have mobile reception.”

Resources and support services for dementia carers

Need help? Try these carer and dementia support resources:

• The Australian Government’s Carer Gateway provides free services like financial support, counselling, education, peer support groups and more. You can call the Carer Gateway on 1800 422 737.
• Visit the Carers Australia website or search for your state or territory’s website online to get a list of resources and support services in your area.
  
• Call the National Dementia Helpline on 1800 100 500 or visit the Dementia Australia website for free dementia resources, counselling and peer support.

Book your free annual mental health check-in today

To care well for others, carers must care for themselves first – and that includes looking after your mental health. If you’re concerned about your wellbeing, eligible members can get a free annual HealthyMinds Check-in: a telehealth consultation with a psychologist, who’ll discuss your concerns and connect you with the appropriate support tailored to your needs. Appointments are available from early morning to late in the evening^*.